Things About Me

when i’m up, i can do anything. fly through tasks, excel at work, go out of my way for people.

optimistic, motivated, insomniac, frenetic, boundless, impulsive, unreserved speaker

when i’m down, i can’t do anything. self-sabotage, call out, flake, ignore - people and my own needs.

immobile, melancholic, inert, isolated, withdrawn, anhedonic, hollow, paranoid, disassociated

i feel more empathy for animals than people

i like coworkers saying their little “happy friday”s in the officespace

and their holiday parties with bake-off sign-up sheets

i love the humanity of humans

i get a quarter pounder with cheese and a large sprite but sometimes if i miss vivien i’ll get the combo and bring my fries over to her

i can be one obnoxious motherfucker if i love u, and i love the word motherfucker

im a messy toothbrusher

i bite my knuckles when im anxious

i bite my bottom lip when im focused

when i need to stop thinking, i like to go on runs and listen to bossa nova music

when i need to stop feeling, i make sure to run over seven miles, no music

maybe a true crime podcast

i oftentimes drive with no hands but my knees (i have misdemeanors)

i talk to myself a lot, reenact conversations in my head with facial expressions and laughter

i giggle a lot and chuckle to myself

sometimes i feel sad. really sad.

but then i remind myself of everything that is good.

sometimes i have so much anger it scares me,

but then i remind myself i have medication

i call my friends my people

a partner, my person

i love singing in my car. loudly. and roadtrips - the further, the better

i think i am hilarious, and am my best friend

i feel like i have all this love and nowhere to put it

i enjoy quality time with my people, activities or not, i’m just happy to be existing together

i have a security blanket, sue me

and i will proceed to add to this list as i continue to grow and fall in love with myself