Things About Me

when i’m light, i can do anything. fly through tasks, excel at work, go out of my way for people.

optimistic, motivated, insomniac, frenetic, boundless, impulsive, unreserved speaker

when i’m dark, i can’t do anything. self-sabotage, call out, flake, ignore - people and my own needs.

immobile, melancholic, inert, isolated, withdrawn, anhedonic, hollow, paranoid, disassociated

i feel more empathy for animals than people

i like coworkers saying their little “happy friday”s in the officespace

and their holiday parties with their bake-off sign-up sheets

i love the humanity of humans

i get a quarter pounder with cheese and a large sprite but sometimes if i miss vivien i’ll get the combo and bring my fries over to her

i can be one obnoxious motherfucker if i love u, and i love the word motherfucker

im a messy toothbrusher

i bite my knuckles and nails when i’m anxious…

put my hand on my forehead when i’m stressed

bite my bottom lip when i’m focused

when i need to stop thinking, i like to go on runs and listen to bossa nova music

when i need to stop feeling, i make sure to run over six miles, no music

maybe a true crime podcast, BAM or workout playlist

fun twisty fact - i have been in the back of a cop car.

twistier - i had to take an infraction deferral program, 3 Class A misdemeanors all cleared.

i talk to myself a lot, doing play-by-plays

sometimes i feel really sad and it makes no sense,

but then i remind myself of everything that is good.

sometimes i have so much anger it scares me,

but then i remind myself to just treat others with grace and empathy, including myself.

i call my friends my people

a partner, my person

i love singing in my car. loudly. and roadtrips - the further, the better

i think i am hilarious, and am my best friend

i feel like i have all this love and nowhere to put it

i enjoy quality time with my people, activities or not, i’m just happy to be existing together

i have a security blanket (rag), sue me

i am most comfortable in an ever-changing environment, but yearn for stability and routine. my brain just won’t let it happen yet.

i argue with my brain. a lot.

and i will proceed to add to this list as i continue to grow and fall in love with myself